Nigerian skit maker Ijoba Lande had accused his estranged wife, Darasimi, of sleeping with multiple men while they were married, but the controversy deepened when actor Baba Tee was named as one of the men she had an affair with.
After initially denying he slept with Darasimi over a Truth or Dare game at his home, Baba Tee later confessed he indeed had a ‘quick’ sexual encounter with Ijoba Lande’s ex-wife. And Darasimi somewhat corroborated the story.
Yes, nothing stings more than betrayal. Especially when it comes from the one person you trusted to hold your heart with care. But let’s not forget in a hurry that this is what many African women tolerate in their marriages for years and, oftentimes, nobody cries foul about it.
But hear this, whether you’re a man or woman being cheated on, your self-worth isn’t tied to someone else’s choices.
So, how can you navigate this kind of storm without losing yourself? Here are seven essential steps to heal, reclaim your dignity, and move forward stronger than ever.
1. Don’t let the pain define you
When betrayal happens, the emotional shock can be overwhelming. Anger, sadness, and even self-doubt may creep in, but you must acknowledge your feelings rather than suppress them. Cry if you need to. Vent in private. Seek support from trusted friends.
However, don’t let the pain consume your identity. You are more than a broken relationship. Healing starts the moment you choose not to let bitterness control your future.
2. Avoid public outbursts
Social media is not your therapist. When emotions run high, the temptation to go online and expose the betrayal can be strong. But let’s be real—drama on the internet never dies.
Publicly dragging your partner might feel good in the moment, but it only adds to the spectacle. Worse, it can make you look bad in the long run. Instead, focus on private resolutions and let your dignity do the talking.
3. Financially secure yourself first
When love is lost, finances shouldn’t follow suit. Ijoba Lande revealed that when his wife left, he only had N7,000 to his name. While breakups are painful, they should never leave you financially powerless.
If you’re facing a breakup, here’s what to do:
4. Take control of the narrative — but With Class
If there are rumors about your situation, own your truth—but with dignity. Instead of rants and emotional breakdowns online, consider a well-crafted statement or simply let your actions speak louder than words.
People will talk, but your silence, maturity, and grace will outlive the gossip. The best revenge? A successful, happy, and drama-free life.
5. Cut off toxic relationships
Who introduced your partner to her alleged lover? Who is spreading rumours about you? Who benefits from your downfall?
If you identify toxic people in your circle, cut them off immediately. This includes so-called “friends” who entertain disrespect behind your back.
Your mental space is priceless—protect it by setting firm boundaries. Unfollow, block, and distance yourself from anything or anyone who keeps reopening the wound.
6. Prioritise your healing. Therapy is NOT a weakness
A lot of men believe therapy is only for women or the weak, but let’s be clear: seeking professional help is strength, not weakness.
Infidelity trauma is real. It can lead to trust issues, depression, and even self-destructive habits. A good therapist will help you:
You deserve peace of mind. Invest in it.
7. Focus on your growth
The best way to heal is to build a better version of yourself. If your partner cheated, prove that losing you was their biggest mistake.
Here’s how to turn your pain into power:
- Hit the gym—get stronger, look better.
- Invest in a new skill—growth is attractive.
- Build your brand—let success be your response.
- Surround yourself with positivity and ambition.
Betrayal is painful, but it’s not the end. If you find yourself in a situation like Ijoba Lande, step away from the chaos and step into your power.
Focus on your healing, secure your finances, block out negativity, and let success be the ultimate clapback. At the end of the day, your peace is priceless. Protect it at all costs.
